Randomisms 101: Introduction/Lesson 1
My life is random. I know it; my family knows it. Heck; even my dog knows it. That mundane, repetitive existence you have going on over there? That routine that gets you through the day week month year and decade? Yeah; that one. Well, it hinders me. In fact, it pains me! Life is meant to be filled with joy, not order! Don’t get me wrong; chaos is very much unnecessary. However, the way of the random is absolutely required. So, what am I going to do to help you realize the error of your ways, and in turn realize that what you’ve been shunning as “weird” and “scary” is pretty darn fun? Well, I’m glad you asked. What I’m going to do is teach you, step by step (day by day!) in the fine art of Randomism.Often times, people seem to naturally stumble in a rhyming sentence or two… or three… or ten. Our natural instinct is to stop the rhyme, and ultimately keep it to ourselves. What is my take on this (rather) unnecessary action of rhyme killing? STOP IT. Own your rhyme! Not only is it indescribably fun to speak in such a way, but it could make another’s day (I rhymed; you smiled; admit it)! Just imagine the way you feel when someone talks to you and “accidentally” rhymes. Personally, I become giddy and get a genuine, feel good smile and laugh out of it. Now put yourself on the other side of that rhyme. Picture the pure and utter satisfaction of knowing that YOU made someone else feel that way, through just the power of your word (and wit).So let’s build even further on the pattern of speech modification. Aside from rhyming, another randomism is to incorporate song lyrics into your everyday vernacular. This one is much trickier than the rhyming method; to effectively utilize it, the speaker MUST know the lyrics very well, and under no circumstances can the melody of the song become apparent to listeners. Furthermore, it is detrimental that the lyrics not be recited as a poem would be. A good practice lyric can be found in the song “Distance and Time.” Make it work.On a final note, we (I) will address what you say and don’t say about your surroundings. Everyday, we (I) as people (myself) see things that just aren’t quite right. Generally, we (you) say nothing about them, filing them away into our (your) own little memory bank within our (your) heads. Solution: if you see something that makes you raise one eyebrow, speak on it, whether it be to the guy (or gal) sitting next to you or your cronies via text message. The bonus in saying it to a nearby people (yeah I said “a people.”) is that they are more than likely witnessing the exact same oddity as you are. Prime examples: middle-aged male English professor comes to (the first day of) class wearing red skinny jeans, black Converse’, and a black, Steve Jobs-esque t-shirt. What do I do? Whip out the cell phone, and text, Facebook, and Twitter everyone I know. Another example: random squeaking noise echoes through class for nearly five minutes. The girl next to me looks around nervously, as if she has lost her mind. Partially to ease her worry, partially to ease mine, I look at her and make the strangest “What the crap is that” face I can muster on a Wednesday. By voicing our concerns about these observations, the weird oddnesses can serve as ice-breakers (or makers) and earn you some “random” stripes.So, little monkeys; what have we learned? RHYME (it can never go wrong; just don’t force it. Let it flow. RECITE (not really, but you know what I mean… the song lyric one…) and QUESTION (your surroundings). Next lessons will deal with dealing with your environment!
